"Consult The Coach" Archives
Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA
“The Real Estate Coach”

June 2009 - Volume 9, Issue 4

Dear Coach:

How can I get over the “guilt” I feel when telling a seller what their home is now worth, when I sold them the home a couple of years ago for much more?

Signed: Feeling Guilty

Dear Feeling Guilty:

Guilt is a strong emotion. Here is how the dictionary defines guilt: “a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.” The underlying question is why you feel guilt for events that you have no control over.

I asked Bob Marvel, a Real Estate Agent in Seattle, how he handles this sort of situation. Here is Bob’s response.

I would reserve “guilt” for things I have control over, or things I should have known that may have had a material impact upon the value of the home purchase. In my recent conversations with past clients whose home values have tumbled since buying in the past few years, I have chosen to be “empathic,” but not “guilty” in my response to their situation.

Frankly, none of the numerous discussions I’ve had with individuals whose homes have lost value since 2004 and 2005 have expected me to take any responsibility for their home’s value. All seem to view their particular circumstances amazingly globally. “That’s just the way it is.”

When delivering the news that their home’s current value is less than what they paid, I am quick to point out that they are not alone, and that they fall in line with numerous others who purchased at the same time. The ultimate solution to their value problem is time. Some who made significant down payments and have significant equity often want to know how much they may be forced to sacrifice if they should choose to sell. I provide that value and they proceed to make their decision based on accurate information.

In hindsight, our crystal ball was no clearer than anyone else’s in the economic sector. Guilt in this case is a misplaced emotion. Be realistic, empathic and provide the facts. That’s your highest obligation to your clients.

Dr. Charles Kuttner, a noted psychiatrist in Portland, OR, comments that agents need to realize that they don't regulate the market, and that they can share the sadness the homeowners have about lost value without having to blame themselves for the downturn.

So, allow yourself to let go of the guilt and embrace empathy and compassion for the impact the market is having on your clients.

About the Author:
Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA, is a Real Estate Business Coach who has coached, trained, and inspired over 1,500 Real Estate Professionals to take their business to the next level. He is the head administrator of the Puget Sound School of Real Estate in Seattle, WA. For a complimentary copy of “Five Essential Tips to Get More Referrals and Business from Your Sphere”, go to www.GetYourSphereInGear.com.

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